


idk i didnt think this far ahead

by werewolfe



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 15:44:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15998348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/werewolfe/pseuds/werewolfe
Summary: um. i dunno man





	idk i didnt think this far ahead

**Author's Note:**

> hiya, im on the mobile site, and it seems theyve changed the tags so that u cant just type some random shit, which is fucking annoying coz the fandom tags didnt show up when i typed them in. oh, and im shit at tags and cbf to think of any sorry if u get triggered. fuck it, whatever. this is shit, jsyk. i wrote it at 3am, half asleep and miserable, and only just finished it. briefly proofed, but idk. im just venting. its not really a vent fic. like it aint sad dw. but i wanted to write about ian, and ive had this story in my head literally since i first started watching their videos like a year ago, and i wanted to try to hold onto my previous perception of ian coz its recently become very obvious to me that hes not really how i perceived him at all and im sad. really fuckin sad. but hey, joji's a lovely dude, there is hope. idk man. if u ever find urself too far up someones ass, do some digging, find out what theyre really like. especially if ur prone to hyperfixating. otherwise it just goes on for far too long and u end up fucking miserable.  
> anyway, emo bullshit aside, hello, ive never written anything for this fandom before, whats up. i dont do this very often. and when i do write, its poorly. if u happen to like this, i hope u also happen to like mcr, coz i used to be really far up frank ieros ass and hes all i wrote about. chads barely in this, hes literally just mentioned. im turning 21 in less than a month, why am i still here

he first sees him thru a haze of smoke, lazy grin, wide and bright, and ian falls into an easy introduction, outstretched hand hanging in the air for a moment too long, dorky. he holds his cigarette between his lips, hand free to relieve ian of his awkward pose. "joji", he calls himself. max had said "george". odd nickname. they start on the beer almost immediately, and if ian's eyes linger on joji too much, too long, he doesn't think anyone notices. they talk a little, easy conversation, planning, whos doing what, and sure, if he has to, ian'll suck it up, draw the short straw. not a great first impression, but hopefully itll make for some good laughs.  
ian doesnt expect it. but he leans in, puckers up, let's joji kiss him. plays it off. hopes he isnt blushing like a fag. it feels surprisingly nice, to have his head shaved. he doesnt hate it. hes done this before, of course, but with a guarded blade. the metal is cold again his scalp, jarring, but once he gets over the initial shock, yeah, nice. playing the cancer gag is easy. eating his own fucking hair is decidedly not. puking it back up over joji, well, at least its funny. he feels like its still there, in his throat, for a while after. yet, its not the main thing on his mind. and if he jerks off to the memory of dark hair, dark eyes, leaning in, cigarette breath, imagines another dude's hand on his dick.. well, whos to know.

  
deadly twister. whos fuckin idea was this? theyve been drinking for hours. max won't shut up about how much he hates beer. whatever, pussy. the traps are daunting. so's the fire. all of this is fucking ridiculous. he kinda wishes they could just, like, do something simple. hes all for new experiences, but this? hes wary. but fuck if hes gonna be the one to say it. he tries not to stare too much these days, knows what it looks like. hes got that school shooter vibe, he knows. weird creepy kinda thing. theres a lot more eyes these days, too. watching their every move. he thinks he pulls off the neutral indifferent thing pretty well, as long as they dont catch him off guard. hes fucking terrified. those dicks don't need to know, tho. he doesnt know them, why should they know his shit? max loves the attention, ian knows. shoulda been a camwhore. but he thinks joji gets it, maybe. this isnt really the life they envisioned. but it is fun, he cant deny that. yknow whats not fucking fun, tho? shock collar. hes never felt a pain quite like that before. so specific. sharp. and chad doesnt go easy on him. he just kinda breathes for a while after. the boys dont come over to check on him until the cameras are off. when he opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is joji. hes smiling, but hes got this look on his face, eyes a little wide, concern, bewilderment. "u good?" ian just nods, exhausted, too drunk to shift his gaze right away. joji offers him a hand up, and they take a break before they start on clean up, recovering. he dreams of joji that night, a soothing presence; soft lips, warm hands, sweet words. when he wakes, early hours of the morning, pre-dawn.. he knows then that hes fucked.  
he stumbles out for a piss, sees a small glow from the backyard on his way back, and he approaches without really thinking about it, grabbing a beer on the way, slides open the backdoor, hesistates. joji's there, cigarette in one hand, phone in the other, and when he sees ian, he grins, so fucking pretty. "hey, man," he greets him, and ian notices the glazed look in his eyes, the lazy pull of his smile, moreso to one side. the empty bottles to the side of him, his sprawled posture. hes been up for a while. "hey...' ian smiles, jerking back into motion, pulling up a chair beside him, "whatcha doing up?"  
"oh, yknow. couldnt sleep," he shrugs, smile still there, but tired, ian can tell. he knows that joji really struggles with that sometimes. it sucks. he wishes he could help. he hums. they end up staying out there for a while, just the two of them. joji sobers up a little, and ian takes it upon himself to drink jojis unopened beers. chads gonna have a whinge in the morning about missing alcohol and greedy fuckin guests. right now, ian doesnt really give a shit. he'll buy the next case to shut him up. they're both at the same level of drunk, nearing 4am, still talking and laughing, and ians all loose and happy, slumped against jojis side, head propped up on his shoulder. he isnt really thinking when he says. "yknow, ive never really, like, made out with someone before, yknow? like, for real.." joji turns to him, eyebrows raised. and ian cant remember what they were talking about and how they got here, he just remembers opening his dumb mouth and saying some dumb words, and now he feels all fuckin stupid. "really? thats a damn shame, ian. not something u wanna miss out on. nah... i think.." he murmurs, and hes real close now, "we should really do something about that.."  
his first instinct is to make some dumb joke, laugh, shove him, and let the moment pass, but he stops. freezes. sits completely still as joji leans in, easy smile, heavy eyes, and kisses him. and ian kisses back. his heart is pounding, in his fuckin throat, and this has gotta be a joke, but joji isnt pulling away, so neither does he. he can always blame it on the booze. no harm, no foul. jojis a good kisser. and hes licking at ians lip, and then things move into unknown territory, but thats okay, joji guides him with a hand in his hair, other one cupping his jaw, and jojis tongue is insistent but slow, firm, unrushed, and it gives ian time to catch up, figure out what hes doing and just go with it. melt into it. joji pulls him where he needs to be, and ian lets him, following his lead. its fucking good. who knew just kissing could be so good? hes hard, trying not to make it too obvious. when joji pulls back, ian follows, feverish, needing. joji steadys him with a hand on his shoulder, shushes him when he goes to speak, and he listens, hears a door open, footsteps, a yawn. max. ian settles back in his own chair, adjusts his sweats, and he sees joji do the same. he breathes, grabs for his discarded beer as joji lights a smoke, and turns his head towards the door as he hears it slide open, casual, like nothings up, easy smile on his face. "what are u faggots doin?" max asks, groggy. he checks his phone. "its quarter past fuckin 4 in the morning, dickheads. get to bed."  
"yes, mum." joji and ian say at the same time. max flips them off and shuffles back to his room. "we have got shit to do tomorrow," joji reasons. "yeah, im pretty beat," ian fakes a yawn, disappointment settling heavy in his gut. "yeah, alright.. night, man," joji says, staying where he is as he finishes his smoke. ian hums, does this autistic little wave, and turns around, heading back to bed. he doesnt look back.

  
they dont talk about it. they do a great job of pretending it never happened. it helps that jojis so chill about everything. its as comforting as it is infuriating. and then vidcon rolls around. more long nights. more stupid drinking. ian doesnt even think as he makes his way to jojis room. he just wants. joji isnt surprised to see its him when he opens the door, but his eyebrows are slightly raised regardless, like he didnt think itd actually happen, or maybe he hasnt thought about this at all and ians overthinking it. ian hesistates once hes inside. joji doesnt. and ians scared shitless, not sure of himself at all, but joji is calm, comfort, warm as he steps towards him, firm hand on the back of ians neck, breath clean, fresh, yet still smelling a little of alcohol, lips damp, and he kisses him, and its good, maybe better than before; full privacy, no interruptions, and.. intent, this time. they both know that its gonna go further. which makes ian  _really_ nervous, because.. "joji... joji, wait, hang on. fuck, i.. i need to tell u... im..' he cant say it. joji just smiles. "i know. dont worry, baby, i'll be gentle," he jokes, and ian splutters, laughs, shoves him a little. and its good. the tension's broken. and theyve spoken about it. with words. acknowledged the implications. its real. this is happening.  
he wants so many things, but.. yeah, he wants that the most. fuck, when did he get so gay? jojis body is soft, a little give in all the right places, but hes firm in his demeanor, strong hands on ians face, chest, waist. his neck tastes like sweat, skin smooth, and ian leaves a nice looking hickey there, loving how it stands out against his skin tone. it suits him. joji huffs against his cheek, and pulls ians shirt over his head, kisses him, backs him over to the bed, lays him down on the messy hotel sheets, settles over him, and its overwhelming, but he wants this so bad. he watches his hand, mind blurry and detached, almost disbelieving, as it makes its way down jojis torso, palms him thru his sweat pants. he really hopes joji cant see just how nervous he is. he smiles, that lazy joji smile, that makes him look like hes always high, and slips his hand down ians pants, wrapping his hand around him, jerks him off slow and firm, the same way he kisses, and ian closes his eyes, mouth falling open, breaths coming quicker. he kinda forgets about getting joji off for a little while, but joji doesnt linger on his dick for long anyway, stopping to shove his pants and underwear down around his ankles, and ian kicks them off the rest of the way, spreading his thighs a little, not thinking about the implications. joji gets up on his knees, discarding his shirt, and ian loves the sight of his body, the dark hair trailing down into his pants, his hard cock so inviting behind the thick fabric of his sweats. he leans down over the side of the bed, searching thru his bag and coming back with lube and condoms, chucking them next to ian and laying back over him to kiss him, open mouthed, giving his dick a few more strokes before grabbing for the lube, wetting his fingers. ian nods when joji looks at him, eyebrow raised a little, asking. hes.. yeah, a lot nervous, so far out of his comfort zone, but he wants this. he knew this was what he wanted when he knocked on jojis door. he wants to make a joke, ease the tension he feels, and hes about to, something about jojis fingernails, when joji starts pushing in a finger. and, wow, okay, ians done this to himself a couple times, coz hes a fuckin faggot and he wanted to know what it felt like, but jojis fingers feel so different, practiced, longer, better angle when its someone else. the lube definitely helps, and the slide is surprisingly easy, good, really fucking good. joji preps him slow and easy, and ian feels really ready for it when joji pushes in, but fucking hell, hes not. it doesnt hurt too bad, a little, but thats not the issue. its just.. a lot. to take in. he nearly laughs out loud at the innuendo there, probably would have if he wasnt so preoccupied by the dick in his ass. joji grunts a little once hes all the way in, still, propped up on his forearms, breathing heavy and warm against ians shoulder, both of them just adjusting. ian shifts a little, experimentally, after the woah-what-the-fuck feeling has subsided. joji groans, pulling out a little and thrusting back in. ian sucks in a sharp breath at how new that feels. new, but good. he wraps his legs around jojis hips and shifts to get comfortable as joji starts to fuck him. he doesnt understand why he was fucking around on his own in his empty bedroom for so long when he couldve been out doing _this_. joji angles his hips, thrusting harder now, faster, and holy fucking shit, whatever he was looking for, he found it. ian cant help it, he moans, probably too loud. joji doesnt seem to care, if the way hes aiming exclusively for that one spot is any indication, sweating and panting from the exertion. ian feels like he could do this forever, and at the same time, hes so close, so soon. joji can probably tell. he speeds up, fucks in harder, starts jacking ian off, making these fucking /sounds/ that are gonna stay with him for a while. little groans and grunts, sometimes talking, mumbled words that ian cant make out. god knows what he sounds like, hes a wreck, on the edge of coming, almost there, almost.. he loses himself in that feeling, that peak, never having come that hard before. when he opens his eyes, he sees jojis face, eyes squeezed shut, brow furrowed, lips parted, thrusts sloppy and stuttered. he comes with a cut off groan, stilling inside. his weight falls heavy over ian, constricting his breathing a little, but he doesnt have the energy to tell him to move. joji rolls over after a couple seconds anyway, tying off the condom and tossing it off to the side. ians exhausted, but he lays staring at the ceiling, stunned and suddenly completely unsure of himself. what now? joji stretches next to him, reaches over to grab his smokes and a lighter, nudges ian. "hey, u good?" he asks, casual, calm. the same way he always is. it settles ians nerves a little. "yeah. just... yeah," he stammers uselessly. joji smiles, blowing smoke off to the side, leans down and plants a kiss on ians cheek, pauses, and then he kisses him again, on the lips this time. ian keeps him there for a bit, grounding himself, and joji looks happy, wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulls him close. after joji's finished his smoke, he pulls the covers up over them, and as hes drifting off, ian thinks he really doesnt mind the stupid shit they do for their equally stupid jobs; as long as jojis right there with him, hes happy.

**Author's Note:**

> i fuckin told u it was shit.


End file.
